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Energy Storage Dispatch Module Achieves Perfect Foresight Via Machine Learning, Promptly Kills Itself
GM of MEMC’s Highly Profitable Wafer Business From 1992-2013 Still Catatonic, Staring At Desk Trying To Understand What the Fuck Happened
Power Factors’ Call Center Landing Menu: “Press 1 If You’re Hoping To Stay In Denial About Your Obvious Shading Problem And Want Us To Say You Have LeTID”
PGE Executives Diversifying Beyond Aboveground Fire Litigation; New Horizons Of Liability Opened by Known Grifter’s Subterranean Plasma-Drill Robot
Gov. DeSantis And FPL Co-Draft “Parental Rights In Energy Act” Prohibiting Classroom Instruction Pertaining to Non-Fossil Generation
The Sunion’s Guide To Raising A $250M First-time Fund With No Track Record Whatsoever, Using Only This One Slide
Interviewer Flashes Barely Perceptible Wince After Candidate Clarifies Which Years He Was At SunEdison
BNEF Report: Storage Sector Will Need To Absorb At Least 45 More Battery Optimization/AM Startups Before Venture Capitalists Move On To Next Shiny Object They Know Nothing About
“I’m Not Happy About It, But Hey…p99 Is The New P50, Amirite?” Says Man About To Be Punched In The Face
Efforts To “Make It Up With Volume” Remain Ongoing, Report 100% of Firms Who Missed Margin Targets In 2014
Concentrating Solar Power Grazing Vegetation Management Pilot Ends Unexpectedly, Tragically; Deliciously, Monetizably
Elite Team of Jesuit Scholars Called in To Calculate Moral Additionality of PV Roof on Automatic Weapons Factory
Infocast Report: You Are The Last Remaining Person In The Entire Renewables Industry Who Has Not Embraced Green Crypto
SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA – Multiple reporters for The Sunion on the scene at the Infocast Solar + Wind Finance conference last week, confirmed that you - the person reading this article - are the only remaining holdout in the entire energy sector who has not enthusiastically embraced the promise of green crypto.
Reports from across the conference agreed that all of the people who you most respect were enthusiastically signing and underwriting long-term crypto offtake agreements just out of your view, and shaking hands on partnerships to pair their solar, wind, and battery projects with enormous, zero-money-down, on-site data centers.
Mephistopheles Trying To Secure Upstream Soul Pipeline, Insists These Terms are Market
PV + Storage Project Press Release Closes With Shoehorned “Oh, shit…and also machine learning, or whatever”
Former SpaceX Engineer Interviewing for Utterly Unrelated Position Would Like You to Know They SpaceX’ed at SpaceX SpaceX SpaceX
The Sunion Names Force Majeure 2022’s Person of The Year
Tempe, AZ Club Owners Concerned Their Customers May Never Return After Tuesday Night Scene Ruined By Hordes Of Badge-Wearing Old Solar Dorks Talking Shop While Leering At ASU Coeds
Infocast Attendee Feeling Frisky With Navy Suit, No Tie, Canned Supply Chain Banter Combo
Microsoft Word Hacks: Instantly Double Your Enterprise Value By AutoCorrecting “Leasing” to “As A Service”
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