Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever been a brand-name private equity firm - or European IPP, Korean chaebol, Japanese trading house, traditional energy company, sovereign wealth fund, Scandinavian pension fund, large impact-motivated family office, very-rich-straight-white-male, or really any large pool of money - with a boatload of cash that you raised from institutional investors (or have yourself) where your original pitch/intention was to invest it in operating renewable energy power plants at a ~14% return, but then you realized that there were ~61,507 other similarly-motivated institutions with precisely the same idea/strategy; you couldn’t “win” any deals that resulted in anything vaguely resembling that return, and your dipshit boss Carson who’s 6 years younger than you is constantly asking you why you aren’t deploying capital

This one guy, Cory - he’s 38 and has been in solar since he was 26 - he came in one morning - unshaven, in a wrinkled shirt, reeking of vodka, already on the phone with his divorce attorney - and without missing a beat started tearing into an engineer for the tiniest of errors in a PVSyst report. Then he disappeared into the men’s room where through the door I listened to him sob in a bathroom stall for about 15 minutes.

DENVER, CO - A local two-person development shop which has placed in service 8.3 MW, has $82,206.34 in their bank account, and took care to list out their inkjet printer on the corporate balance sheet has revealed their plans for satisfying an $18M interconnection deposit.

“I could bill Andrea Sullivan from Citigroup…she’d never notice,” said Blake. “But just look at Greg bloviating about the risks of lease pass-throughs right now. He hasn’t made a salient point since Obama was in office, so I highly doubt he’s sufficiently engaged to notice and care about an extra $1,265 in our bill.”

Conference attendees scramble to recalibrate assessment of the company’s legitimacy

One of Luciano’s co-workers (who wishes to remain anonymous) told The Sunion that during a team meeting at 9:30, he asked his teammates if anyone had “heard of a situation where the tax investor’s contribution goes through a DRO account.” Afraid of looking stupid, every team member reportedly responded with a simple “no” and then pretended to receive a text message from their spouse.